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  • Writer's pictureEmily Ainscough

Pretty Pissed

Updated: Sep 19, 2023

CW: ableism

This is just a short post to acknowledge the fact that instagram has taken down my account because apparently they can't distinguish between sex-positive, non-provocative open conversation about problems that are unique to persons with disabilities in the sphere of sex, love and dating ... and sexual solicitation. FYI: Personally, I support sex workers. I absolutely support sex workers. This is by no means me dumping on sex workers. I hope their unique stigma will continue to be opposed and their rights be championed, but that aside... this blog is not sex work.

To make things really clear:

  • Sex Work offers sexual services or content as a product. In other words: is sex.

  • My Blog talks about sex.

Nothing on this website is intended to provoke, arouse or stimulate and in fact, I am deeply offended and consider it a violation when people sexualise my blog and by extension me.

Sex Workers invite sex on their own terms, but I do not invite it at all (with my readers, that is, obviously you're all more than aware of what I may or may not be inviting into my private life!). Disabling my account for this reason is not only personally upsetting, separating my blog from my very small pool of readers, but beyond that, it silences a conversation about ableist discrimination, that is to say it silences a marginalised group of people who are fighting for better quality of life, and it says publicly that talking about sex is the same as sex itself. And in case you're wondering what the implications of that are... it implies sexual educators and sexual rights advocates are, can and should be sexualised. That isn't just a mistake. That is dangerous.

These mistakes are seriously damaging to public health.

These mistakes put marginalised persons at even greater risk.

These mistakes are not just 'a bit conservative' or 'slightly behind the times', they sexualise people without their consent. The long and the short of it is that is what has been done to me. When instagram disabled my account, they sexualised me and my content without my consent...and that is really not fucking okay.

It's been a short and very rant-y post, I know, but it's important. Please, please share this as much as possible because I am sure I am not the first and won't be the last, and this cannot be allowed to continue.

FYI I won't be blogging about my specific dates and suitors anymore (not even with pseudonyms). I'm going to talk more generally about love, sex, dating and FND because sharing intimate details that involve other people is not conducive to a healthy dynamic. If anybody reading suspects one of my posts has been written about them and would like it taken down, please do reach out to me and I'll remove it in a heartbeat.

P.S. My new, barren instagram is @emiainscoughx

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